Good Intentions
by HelenaHills
Summary: Set in AU. Rin is a deliquent student and Neuhaus is his high school doctor. When you can't trust anyone around you, who will you finally turn to?
1. Circumstances

**Α****/N: Hello everybody! Welcome to my new Blue Exorcist fanfic! It's yaoi, of course, and it's centered around my favorite pairing, Neuhaus x Rin. This time I tried a totally different approach than the one in Crimson Vow. I can't describe how happy I am that CV still gets a lot of favorites and some reviews after so many months, but now, seeing that there isn't anyone else to write about those two as well, I decided to make something different with them. So now we'll get to see them in an Alternate Universe, meaning in the modern world but without any demons or demonic powers in the first place, where Rin is a delinquent student and Neuhaus is his High School Doctor. I hope it turns out well! If you like it, please leave me a review, it's what makes me the happiest! I can know if my hard work is acknowledged and that is all a writer ever wants. Constructive criticism is always very welcome, but please, do not flame. Flaming is only unjustified meanness. Ok then, that's all for now, I blabbed too much! Please enjoy!**

"Is that the kid?" A girl turned and asked her best friend in a low voice, as soon as a black-haired boy appeared and passed by them in the school's corridor. Both of the girls had been chatting and giggling nonchalantly about unimportant stuff just a few seconds ago, but they abruptly stopped and started gossiping intensely as soon as they saw him. "Hey, tell me! Is that him?" She insisted, tugging at her friend's arm impatiently.

"Oh yes, that's very well him!" The other friend answered, with a smug look on her face. "Can you see him? He's all messed and beaten up… I heard he's into a gang or something… I bet they're selling drugs and mug people…"

"How scary, how scary!" The previous girl nodded. "And he's still only in the first grade! Just think what he's going to do when he grows up! …I heard he's an orphan?"

"Yeah he's alone… That's probably why he turned out to be this way. It's almost too bad you know? People going to waste like that…"

And they weren't the only people saying that. Wherever he would walk inside school, people would stare and talk shit. Whispers where hanging all over the air, no matter where he'd go; filling Rin's ears like the buzzing of a very annoying fly. Some of them wouldn't even bother to lower their voices. And Rin's patience was running thin. If anyone dared to come over and badmouth him, he'd give him a good piece of his mind that he'd remember for the rest of his life! His facial expression would grow angrier by each passing second but that only caused the voices to intensify. Rin walked into the classroom, miraculously without punching anyone, threw his school bag on his desk and sat on the chair, popping a piece of gum in his mouth and throwing his legs over said bag, thus earning some very distasteful stares from some of his classmates. And from his teacher, who walked in mere moments afterwards.

"Okumura!" Tsubaki sensei wasn't a bad person, but he wasn't the kind of person who knew how to deal with obstacles. Very bad material for a teacher, Rin had observed. "Is that a way to sit when your teacher is coming in? I'm asking you, is it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, sensei." Rin paid absolutely no attention to the distressed man, and he started chewing the gum in his mouth, making a pink bubble moments later, which made a nice 'pop' and then it was gone.

"And you're chewing gum in the middle of the class!" Tsubaki sensei was so easy if you wanted to get him crazy. Rin almost smirked. "This is not primary school, Okumura, this is high school and… is that a _bruise_ over your eye?" Great, now he acted like he was worried or something! Rin sighed exasperated. People's hypocrisy was getting on his nerves more than anything… Although he had to admit that he didn't really think Tsubaki sensei was a hypocrite, but then again, who knows. "Don't you sigh at me! Go right now to the infirmary and have the doctor look at you! Now!"

Rin was ready to tell him 'kindly' to get lost and stop irritating him, but then he saw a pair of emerald green eyes looking at him worryingly, and he halted. Shiemi was worried. He came late so they didn't manage to talk, and Rin didn't want to upset the only person in the whole school with whom he could at least have a decent conversation with. Rin wasn't the most social person but Shiemi would still talk to him and worry about him… She was a really nice girl.

"Fine." Rin grumbled and he got up. He didn't need to ask for directions. He would find himself at that particular place of the school at least three times a week. He had become very well acquainted with it.

As soon as he opened the door, a familiar voice greeted him. "You're late. At the rate you're injuring yourself you should have been here yesterday…" The brunette doctor with the eye-patch turned and looked at him, his expression never changing from the one of professional indifference. "How come the sudden change?"

"Shut up." Rin replied as he sat on the edge of the bed that was there. "And fix me up as usual so I can get out." _I simply changed the route of returning home the day before yesterday… But yesterday the same trick just didn't work._

"What's the rush?" The older man grabbed the disinfectant from the nearby desk and some cotton along with it. "I don't think the reason is your thirst for knowledge the school will provide you." He grabbed a wheeled chair, and sat on it right across Rin. He then poured some of the disinfectant on the cotton and placed it carefully on the bruise over Rin's forehead, who flinched at the contact. There wasn't only just a bruise there, but several grazes as well. He hadn't bothered bandaging it yesterday noon, when he got it, and now it hurt like hell. "Or do you hate seeing my face so much?"

Rin looked at him with his big, blue eyes, intensely, as the other's hands were working on his forehead. A lot of things were being said for this man as well. First of all, only the view of a missing eye was making Igor Neuhaus big news in school. If you'd think about it, he was rather intimidating to be a doctor with that appearance. Some kids were saying that he had lost it during combat. Combat in what war? At least Rin wouldn't remember one recently! Well some others were saying that he used to serve in the military, or the in the special forces, or the FBI, but now he had retired because he lost his family… Yeah everybody knew he had lost his family, it wasn't a secret or anything… In a huge fire, which was caused by terrorists fifteen years ago, in the heart of Tokyo. Rin guessed that his parents were also victims of that fire. And that was probably when the old man took him and Yukio under his wing… Did the church take the responsibility to raise the orphans? Rin didn't know and he didn't want to. Whatever reasons Fujimoto Shirou may have had to raise him, he would always call him his dad. That, until he died some months ago…

The train of his thoughts was interrupted by a light pressure on his forehead, which shook him out of his trance. "Ouch!" Rin let out, closing slightly his eyes by the pain. _Damn it that hurt!_

"You should have at least put some ice on it. So no complaints now." Neuhaus informed him. He had just finished patching the injury up. Now over Rin's right eye, stood some neatly arranged, stuffed with cotton, pad, held in place by gauzes. "Tsubaki-sensei sent you?" He asked, as he was getting up.

"Yeah…" Rin muttered. He could have been more gentle, that bastard! It was almost like a punishment! He did it on purpose, didn't he? That guy really got on Rin's nerves… Next time he would avoid any injuries in order not to see him for a while. He glared at him, and Neuhaus didn't miss it.

"Well he's always the one who sends you." _Nobody else bothers, even if they see you almost every day like this… _"From the beginning of the year, you've become my best client." He commented, and waited for a response.

"Thanks for that…" Rin got up and headed towards the exit, but Neuhaus grabbed his arm after just two steps. Rin immediately shot his head up to look at him.

"It wasn't a compliment." Neuhaus' sole azure eye narrowed, and the grip on Rin's arm tightened ever so slightly. But Rin clearly felt it.

"What the fuck! Get away from me!" Rin tore his hand off of the other's grip and jumped almost three feet away, panting and striking a pose like he was ready to bite back in defense each passing second. Neuhaus was taken aback, he never expected such a reaction. But after some moments Rin calmed down and realized he was exaggerating. It wasn't his fault, his body moved on its own… Not that he trusted the guy or anything… He trusted no one. He composed himself, as Neuhaus was carefully observing all of his reactions.

After some more quiet moments, Neuhaus finally spoke. "Where are you getting all those injuries from?" He asked, slowly and clearly.

Rin narrowed his eyes. "It's none of your fucking business." He knew the doctor would ask sooner or later…

"The hell it isn't! It's exactly my business!" Neuhaus almost yelled. "My job is to make sure that you are healthy, and that doesn't mean much if you're coming in pieces every other day…"

"I'm not coming in pieces…" Rin mumbled.

"Shut up you know what I mean!" Neuhaus chastised him and Rin obeyed. "It doesn't take much for someone to see what's going on here!" They locked eyes. They waited some moments and Neuhaus spoke more calmly this time. "It's one thing to fight to defend yourself or someone else, and it's another if you fight to just blow off some steam."

Rin's hair covered his eyes. "That's what you think? That's what they're telling you about me? That I have issues and I resort to violence just like that?" _Not that it's much far from the truth… Heh I guess everyone is just right… _

"Nobody tells me anything." Neuhaus responded. That wasn't quite true. He'd heard rumors about Rin from everywhere in school. So what? He only decided the facts for himself. He'd heard so many times that Rin was a lost case, a problematic child on which you'd better not waste your time. He'd have none of it. "The other option is that you're getting abused. And trust me, if that's what's happening, I'm not going to let it go that easily!"

Rin burst out laughing. A fake laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. "Sensei, you almost sound like you're really worried, it's so funny!" Neuhaus wanted to punch him in the face so badly right at that moment. If the boy was that good at pissing other people off, then it was no wonder how he was hurting himself. After that the laughter ceased. "Unfortunately, you won't get to play hero, since I live all alone and nobody's abusing me… But thanks for the interest anyway!" He waved his hand dismissingly and walked away. Neuhaus did nothing to stop him, only looked his way as the boy's back disappeared after closing the door behind him.

"You're right." He admitted, even though there was no one to hear him anymore. "It isn't any of my business." He shrugged it off and got back to work.

Needless to say that Rin wasn't in the best of moods when he went back to class. He walked into his class without saying anything and sat on his chair without giving the least bit of attention to his teacher's lecture. He had decided to spend all day grimly like that, but as soon as the bell ringed, Shiemi ran quickly by his side.

"Rin? Are you okay? Does it hurt?" She asked, genuinely worried.

Rin sighed. "It's alright Shiemi, it's just a little bruise, it won't kill me." Shiemi would worry even if a mosquito bit him, for God's sake!

"I see…" She lowered her eyes and shifted uncomfortably. "Um… Rin…" She wouldn't meet his eyes, and it was clear that she was nervous. "After class, we'll go to the coffee shop down the street… Shima-san made the plans. I'll go with Izumo-chan and Paku-chan to meet the boys… And I think that Rin should also…"

"No." Was Rin's flat out response. He didn't even blink offering it. He would never go, and besides, Yukio had promised that he'd come over to have lunch together. Since he went in that boarding school on scholarship, he rarely cared to pass by, too busy with studies and other obligatory activities. But today he'd promised that he'd come, and Rin had already cooked his favorite food for him. Like hell he'd waste his time with those idiots he disliked.

"Eh? But Rin should come too!" Shiemi protested without losing any time, she had expected that reaction. "Why aren't you coming with us? Aren't you lonely?"

Rin opened his mouth irritated, but he was interrupted by a stern female voice. "Hey Moriyama, what are you doing, wasting your time like that? Haven't I told you to go get me some juice already?" Kamiki Izumo didn't like to be kept waiting, apparently.

"Izumo-chan, you don't have to be so strict…" Her best friend, a girl with little black eyes and short brown hair named Paku, tried to calm her down a little.

"Ah, be right there Izumo-chan!" Shiemi complied. "Sorry Rin! I'll try to come back before the bell rings!" She apologized, bowed to him and left, running.

_It's definitely impossible, isn't it. _Rin thought exasperated. _You'll probably even be late for the next period too… _But he wouldn't try to set Shiemi straight, even though it was so obvious that Kamiki hated her guts and was using her profoundly. Shiemi had to fight her own battles, only then she'd learn how to defend herself.

"Is she still hanging upon that guy?" He heard a male, not so kind voice, full of detest. Oh yeah… Suguro Ryuji… Or Bon, as his friends were calling him. He looked like a delinquent but he was actually the best student in class. Rin narrowed his eyes. Bon didn't like him at all and he wasn't missing any chances showing it. Rin tried to ignore him; he couldn't afford starting a fight in school. "I fail to see what she sees in him, as useless as he is!"

"Hey Bon, come on drop it…" His friend, a little guy with glasses, Konekomaru, tried to reason with him. "It's not good to fight…"

He was interrupted by their other friend, Shima, a pink-haired easy-going guy. "But Shiemi chan is so cute! I like that part of her!" He put on his dreamy face.

Rin would have face-palmed a hundred times just hearing them talking about all that crap. According to them, world consisted of girls, bikes, grades and spice it up on top with some stupid friendship exclamations. That's why he hated to be in that class. In any class. All there was around were some brats who knew nothing from the real problems of the real world, acting all high and mighty, and somehow, thought of themselves as fit enough to judge and criticize him, shooting looks and whispering at the corners. It was always that way. Even since kindergarten. And then there were teachers, adults who thought they were so much wiser just because they were older, enjoying and exploiting as far as possible the power the system was giving them over their teenage students. 'All of you should shut up and listen to what we have to say (or simply what we just want to say) and don't you dare to argue, because we're older, and we went to college, so therefore, we're so much better than you! Got it?' To that mentality, Rin was answering with a 'Just go die. This way I won't have to listen to this shit.' Tsubaki and Neuhaus, and all the other teachers could just burn in hell for all he cared.

After class finished, Rin completely ignored Shiemi, who at some point stop trying to persuade him, seeing that he was so stubborn, and started walking his way home. Rin guessed that it would be a matter of time until Shiemi gave up on him completely, but well… What to gain, what to lose. He was always alone. He would never bother coming to High School if his father hadn't wished for it in his will.

His apartment was just fifteen minutes away from school by walking, but Rin usually had that stroll last longer. After passing through a couple of big main streets, he reached those oh so familiar now alleys. He stood in the middle of the one he chose. All of them were leading to the same street after all. "One… Two… Three." He whispered, and then ducked. A piece of junk flied right towards where his head was seconds earlier.

"Oh damn it, I almost got him!" An annoying voice was heard. Rin sighed, as he turned around and saw that idiotic gang which had become part of his routine. They were just three, one fat guy with glasses, one tall and bony, and their leader, a bit more muscular than Rin but still in the same height as him, with white hair. They had told him their names before… thinking that they were something extraordinary, something out of the usual. Rin had already forgotten them. And when they were calling each other by name, Rin never bother to memorize them. Yes, he didn't know their names. He didn't have to.

"Rin-chan, long time to see… Since yesterday!" The white-haired guy mocked him. "I see you're still bathing in the afterglow!" And he pointed at his forehead, exactly when Rin now had his injury patched up above the eyebrow.

To those words, Rin felt something inside his head snap. Yesterday he had beat them quite well. The other two had visible bruises all over their arms and certainly in other places as well. They were just so idiotic that they felt like they had to provoke him almost every day. He was quite strong, but he couldn't win in a three against one game. Still, he'd always put up a good fight but each time he'd earn a troublesome injury. A strained ankle, a broken lip, some bruises and scars all over him. It was just your usual street fighting. But this scumbag daring to say something like that to him… he didn't exist for their damn amusement! Like he didn't know they were picking on him just because he was an orphan and he didn't have anyone to protect him! "Shut your fucking trap. I don't want to deal with morons today."

"Eh, Rin-chan that's so cold!" The white-haired guy faked a worried voice. "We have so much fun every day; it just hurts so much if you reject us like that!" The others behind him started snickering. "Come on, let's just have some fun like we always do!"

"I'll pass." Rin threw his school bag over his shoulder in a decisive manner and turned around. He just didn't want to see their faces today. Although he normally used them as punching bags to vent out his frustrations.

But the fat guy started nagging. "Hey you bastard where do you think you're going? You can't just turn and…"

"Let him go Daichi." The white-haired guy said. "It seems like he has lost all interest in our games…" Rin just kept on walking, almost reaching the exit of the alley. "I bet the church taught him more intriguing adult-suited games!" He shouted out just after that.

Rin stopped on his tracks. He just listened numbly to the tall guy asking: "What do you mean, Hiroshi?"

"Oh come on." The other guy answered. "Everybody knows what most catholic priests do to little kids! And you do know that he was adopted by someone, he wasn't even his true son! Ha! Why do you think a priest would suddenly decide to adopt? Fresh meat without having to pay for it! Tell me Okumura, did your priest of a stepfather used to also play 'doctor' with you? You know if I was in his place I would! Why waste the opportunity…"

BAM!

If Rin were to describe the moments afterwards, he wouldn't be able to, because he was never able to remember them. He didn't remember. Blackness covered his vision and soul, all noises stopped. And it only lasted seconds, but when he finally snapped out of it, he saw what he had caused. The sidekicks were just gaping in horror, as their leader, Hiroshi - from then on Rin would remember his name - was lying on the ground, coughing out a small pool of blood. Without realizing in, Rin had grabbed the piece of junk which they had thrown at him, a piece of metal bar, and dashed at the other. Before anyone could react, he had deliver two hits, one at the other's chest and one other at his jaw. Something cracked.

Hiroshi fell down, helpless, his mouth quickly filled with his own blood, as Rin came and stood above him, looking down at him with cold eyes. "Never. Again. Mention my father with your _filthy_ mouth." His eyes narrowed to slits. "I'll kill you." His menacing and dark voice didn't even feel like his. "Got it?" In all the panic and confusion caused of the extreme pain, Hiroshi frantically nodded yes. He couldn't even speak. How many teeth had been broken? How many ribs?

Rin stepped away, then just turned his back and left, whereas the two sidekicks ran desperately to help their friend. "Blood… blood… blood…" Daichi was shrieking, trembling uncontrollably. Both of them were in the verge of tears, at a total loss of what they should do.

"DEMON! DEMON! FUCKING DEMON!" They screamed at Rin, as he disappeared from their sight. Still, he heard them pretty well.

It didn't bother him. That would teach them not to mess with him again. How dare he… how dare he say all those things. How dare he stain with his lewd words the people who raised him like he was their own child, not only his father but everyone who worked in the church and always took care of him and Yukio, striving selflessly to make everything better? How dare he presume such disgusting things just out of a stupid prejudice, erasing all the hard work priests were doing only to help their fellowmen? And above all… how dare he… speak like that for his father… his _father_…

It didn't matter to Rin if he was adopted or not. He knew that from the very begging. But Fujimoto Shirou was his father! When nobody wanted them, he took them. He raised them. He protected them. He taught them. He made them feel wanted, loved, happy. They were truly loved as someone's children and they loved that someone back as a father. Even if he was now dead, Rin would never let anyone poison his name. He had acted right.

Surprisingly, knowing that didn't make him feel any better. Guilt started eating at his chest and settling at the pit of his stomach, making it burn. The feeling that you've hurt someone badly… The fear if you've gone too far… maybe… killed?

No, no, no, that was impossible. It wasn't that bad, if he went to the hospital it should be okay in a few days… But if, by any chance, he had inflicted permanent damage on someone, just because he was irritated from stupid words… what had he…

He didn't realize that he had already reached home. He lived in a small apartment, in a complex area. The rent (and all of Rin's living expenses) was being paid from his and Yukio's guardian. Neither of them had ever seen him, but since they weren't adults they weren't able to manage their inheritance. Rin and Yukio would have to use the money they inherited wisely as their guardian would give it and then start working after they finished high school. Yukio was supposed to get another apartment next to Rin's, but since he got the scholarship in a boarding school at the same town things were much easier. And as everything indicated, he would manage to get a scholarship for college education too. Rin on the other hand wouldn't mind starting work right now.

He sighed and stepped in his house. Yukio would be here any minute, he should make the last preparations on the food and then he should tell him about what he had done today. Well of course Yukio would freak out, lecture and reprimand him, but they could talk about it and find a solution… ease the pain in his chest. Have someone help him, make him feel less lonely. His pillar of support. It really had been a while since he last saw Yukio…

Rin casually turned on the answer machine to check for any phone messages – which were only ever from his brother. And there was one.

"_Nii-san, hi. It's me." _Rin smiled a bit as he took off his school jacket and threw it over a chair. Yukio had that habit to always call him Nii-san, even if he was just five minutes older. _"Listen, I called to tell you… I won't be able to make it today." _Rin went numb. _"I'm really sorry. Something really urgent came up_. _I promise to make it up to you, okay? Don't try to call today, I'll have my cell phone inactive because there is this very important lecture. I'll call you tomorrow, okay? I'm sorry again. Bye, I'll see you." _

Rin slowly turned and looked at the kitchen counter. There was all the food he had prepared for their lunch. Suddenly, it was very difficult to breathe. The walls were smothering him, the sight of food, the sound of the answering machine, everything. He just gave up on thinking. He threw himself out and ran. This was too much for today… Everything was coming crashing down. From the gossip in the halls, to Yukio's absence, everything. He couldn't understand, it wasn't such a big deal, yet he ran. He ran without knowing where he was going, if it was running in circles or all straight ahead, he couldn't decipher. What he realized, after a long time of running, was that he had reached an area of the city he didn't know at all. The sky had gotten dark with clouds, and he just didn't care. He stopped running and leaned against a wall. Damn, everything seemed just so… hopeless… and empty…

"Hey bro. What are you doing out here all alone?" He raised his eyes. A group of six men in their middle twenties with baggy clothes, weirdly shaved hair and piercings, grinning at him. Could he even bring himself to care? He already knew that he looked like a total train wreck, being the perfect target for people like this. The passers-by just shot a glance and ignored them circling around him and pushed him further into a backstreet. "Aw what's that? Cat ate your tongue?" One of them approached and threw his hand over Rin's shoulder, who made no movement to shake him off. He had already caused enough harm today in a similar situation, plus it didn't look like he really had a chance of winning. This was way out of his league. Maybe if he ignored them they'd go away… "Don't be shy! I can show you a place with some really hot chicks and tasty drinks… well of course if you pay that's it!" He shoved his hand into Rin's pockets, trying to find his wallet, which had remained home. "Oh shit, he doesn't have any cash on him! What the hell, man?" Rin remained apathetic. They couldn't harm him, he got nothing.

"Well maybe you could tell us where you are going without any money kiddo?" Someone else asked. Rin raised his head and looked him in the eyes, without saying anything. That earned him a punch in the stomach. "Playing it all high and mighty huh? Come on guys let's take him somewhere less noisy. I'll rough him up a bit." He said as Rin was coughing.

"To do what? He's not even a girl!" Another guy protested. Then he grinned. "But maybe we can see. Kid you have a nice white shirt here. Still in high school, are we?" He brought up a big bottle full of water, while tugging at the front of Rin's shirt. He was dazed from the hit, so he couldn't resist much when two of them grabbed his arms and pinned him in place against the wall, while their comrade emptied all of the bottle onto Rin's head, making him completely wet from head to toes. Rin let out a small yelp, as the cold water damped his hair and made its way down his torso and back. "Hey we still got more!" The man presented another bottle and grabbed the hem of Rin's jeans, emptying all the water inside.

This time Rin screamed and fought more strongly to free himself. He could feel his pants and underwear wet and frigging cold, the liquid spreading down to his thighs. "No… no, no, stop it, please!" He choke out.

"And more!" The man above him sneered and emptied a third bottle, this time again onto his head. Everybody laughed as Rin was struggling to get away in vain. "Wow look you can see anything through the white fabric! Yep, definitely a boy!" They laughed again. Rin had no strength left. They would get tired of it eventually… "Hey look boy nice body you have there! You made me hard!" Rin's eyes shot wide open in horror.

"Hey come on don't bully him anymore." One of the guys holding him said. "He doesn't have any money and he isn't fighting back either. That's a waste of time. I came here looking for genuine amusement, let's go."

"This is pretty amusing too." The guy who was emptying the bottles grabbed Rin's chin, turned his head to the side and gave him a loud kiss on the cheek. Rin's face contorted in disgust. "You know, I don't do guys, but you I'd do." Then he lapped at Rin's cheek. Rin felt tears stinging at the back of his eyes. He didn't know since when he had to feel so afraid. Then he suddenly felt his hands freed. He fell on his knees on the small pavement, vaguely hearing them bragging, laughing and teasing, while they were distancing themselves from him until they disappeared.

Rin lied there with his back against the wall. How many people had seen them pulling him in the backstreet but never bothered to help him? It was so cold… Soaking wet… he didn't know where he was, he didn't know how to go back and his strength had already abandoned him. Crying wouldn't do him any good. This was just all shit…

Then he saw that familiar figure at the entrance of the backstreet.

He just stared as his school doctor came slowly towards him, only to stand in front of him, looking into his eyes with his shocked ones – better yet, one.

"…Rin?"

**End of first chapter, I hope it was good! Please, please review! ;) **


	2. Punishment or not

**Hello there! Thank you all so much for your lovely reviews! We're still at the very start but I hope with all of my heart you'll come to love this story even more! I promise you, I have quite a lot of things in store ahead, so just stay tuned and you won't be disappointed! ;) Fweus-san thank you very much for your really nice review, don't worry honey when I said 'first grade' I meant first grade of high school. School system in Japan separates high school from the other educational stages so it's okay to refer to it as 'first grade' or 'first year' and a student of those as 'freshman'. At least I think… I'm 95%, but not 100% sure. If I'm still wrong can anybody please tell me and I'll correct it ASAP. Constructive criticism is always welcome, don't hesitate to point out any mistakes that you may come across and I'll fix them immediately. Again Fweus-san thank you for pointing it out, it meant that you wanted to help me and I really appreciate that! ;) Thank all of you guys for the reviews! I'm literally dying for them… I love you! :) **

"…Rin?"

_Oh great. _Rin thought, as he lay there and watched with dull and lifeless eyes his teacher. School-doctor, whatever. The older man's facial expression was emitting slight amounts of shock, confusion and worry. Surprisingly, considering he wasn't one of the most expressive people ever. What for, was beyond Rin's understanding. This man was a stranger to him. The fact that he was seeing him at school didn't mean anything, he didn't know him.

Before he knew it, Neuhaus had run and kneeled beside him. "What happened to you? What are you doing here? Are you hurt anywhere?" He kept asking, running his hands all over the boy's upper body in a frenzied manner. Rin didn't bother to push him off. Why was that man even bothering… "Shit, you're all drenched to the bone! You're chilling cold…" Neuhaus sighed in exasperation. Then he stood up but immediately bent down, pulling Rin from his arm, trying to make him stand. "Come on." Rin didn't react. "Come on Rin, my house is around the corner. We'll get you all warmed up in there, okay?"

Finally, it dawned on Rin. He looked up to the doctor, wearing an unreadable expression, his eyes trying to search the other man's face and understand his motives. He seemed genuinely worried… not extremely worried, but genuinely. What a great mask. It was almost perfect. Except for the fact that Rin wouldn't buy it. He thought he understood what it meant when a stranger offers to 'warm you up'. And he only thought about running away only a second before he dismissed it. He hated himself so much right then, he thought he deserved a punishment. _Let's just get this over with. I hope he's quick. _He closed his eyes and slowly got up. Neuhaus offered a hand to help him but Rin just slapped it away, proving that he could walk around without any help. He knew he irritated the other with that. But the doctor never showed it. He did stand close to him until they reached the nearby apartment building, just in case.

Without any words being told, they climbed up the second floor. Rin watched quietly as Neuhaus took out some keys and unlocked a door at their left. "Come in." He told the boy, looking at him, expecting him to get inside. And Rin simply walked in. He stood in the hall, taking off his shoes. Fortunately, those hadn't gotten drenched like the rest of him. He then saw Neuhaus walking past him, going somewhere further into the house. Rin slowly followed him too, until he reached the living room. There was a kitchen at his right, a TV, coffee table and two black couches around it at his left, and further in a hallway and a wall, meaning that there had to be rooms at each end of the corridor. He noticed Neuhaus appearing again from the left side, holding something. "Here." He gave it to Rin. It was an azure bathrobe. "Go get a warm bath and we'll talk later about how you got yourself into _this_." He raised an eyebrow disapprovingly. Rin took the bathrobe but he couldn't resist rolling his eyes as he walked past his doctor. "The bathroom is at your right!" He heard him saying and he obeyed.

As he stepped into the bathroom, he was glad to notice that there was a key on the door. Not that it mattered… Not that he was afraid or anything… He had taken his decision, he'd go through it. He just wanted a bath in peace, he was really tired and above everything, cold. He locked the door and sighed in relief unconsciously. Then he quickly pulled off his shirt. It felt so good to finally take the wet clothing away from his skin. He hesitated a bit, but then he took off his pants and shocks too, as they were extremely uncomfortable. He swallowed hard and then quickly pulled his underwear down too. Then he swiftly ran to the bathtub, filled it with steamy hot water and got in, shivering from the wonderful sensation of warmth surrounding him, but also hugging his knees against his chest, as if trying to protect himself from something. It was so stupid. What was he thinking, already so deeply into this? He had decided he would do this. It shouldn't be so hard. He just had to spread his legs, let the other lay above him and in ten minutes max, everything would be over… He just had to stay calm through it all. And how much could it hurt anyway? Pain was definitely overrated at that matter, yeah, that's right! Rin tried putting a finger inside him to prove himself right…

_IT FUCKING HURTS! _

…Now, this was not good. Rin had never imagined that it would hurt that much! …But, but there would be lubricant, right? But what if the other didn't want it? Come on he could at least beg for that one! Rin grabbed the body cream near him, poured some in his finger and then tried to put it in again. It was better now, yeah… But still… It was just one finger… He started panicking. What was he doing there? What was he thinking, letting another man screw him just because… just because he…

Panic gave its place to depression. Because he battered someone. He harmed a person badly. Because he was always made fun of. Because he was abandoned. Because he had no one. Because he was lonely. Because he was a bad person. Because he was a demon.

After he applied some shampoo and rinsed himself off of it, along with the body cream he used to wash up the rest of himself, he got out of the tub. He felt kind of refreshed and calmer now. He grabbed the hair dryer and started drying himself. It was really a great feeling. Warm and dry all over again… he wondered how much time would pass until he would have to take another bath. Minutes? Hours?

He turned the hair dryer off and finally dared to look himself in the mirror, straight into his own eyes. It was risky, he might even suddenly allow sympathy for himself to take over. But he had to convince himself to do this. His pride would never allow it if he did it half-heartedly. Fortunately his doctor was quite attractive, despite his missing eye and despite how much older he was than Rin. He wondered how great he must have looked when he was at Rin's age and with both of his eyes intact. Whatever. Rin turned and unlocked the door decisively.

The first thing he noticed was that there were slippers in front of the bathroom's door. He smiled faintly and then put them on. Well at least someone had thought about that for him… Or just in order not to mess up the floor… He was hearing noises from the kitchen, indicating that the other man was there. He slowly opened the door and found himself in the bedroom. There were probably more in there, but Rin's mind was only focused at the big, double bed. He walked in and hesitantly sat at the edge. The mattress was soft and comfortable but Rin kept cringing like he had sat on eggshells. He wrapped his arms around his body, trying to stop the trembling, clutching to the only piece of fabric on him for dear life. He heard footsteps approaching. He remembered that he hadn't closed the door. He looked up and saw Neuhaus at the doorstep.

"Oh you're all done with the bathroom." The doctor just commented and casually walked in, opening the closet. He pulled out some clothes from it. "Here. I can lend you a pair of pajamas until your clothes get dried." And he did place a pair of dark blue pajamas and clean underwear next to where Rin was sitting on the bed. "They might be a bit too big for you but bear with it. I'll put your clothes on the radiator so it shouldn't take long until they… are you cold?" He had to interrupt his own speech as he was seeing Rin hugging himself desperately, eyes clenched shut and shivering a bit. He took some steps forward, so that he was standing near him. "Hey, are you okay?" He put his hand on Rin's left shoulder.

_Shit, shit, fuck, fuck, I can't do it, I can't do it, there's absolutely no way I can do it! _That was all Rin could think of. His previous resolution had flown right out of the window now that Neuhaus was standing so close to him… and touching him… He had clenched his legs so tightly together that one could believe they were glued. But he wouldn't cry, absolutely not in front of this person! He took a deep breath before answering: "Yeah, I'm fine." Thank God he hadn't stuttered!

_No, something is definitely wrong with you. _Neuhaus thought and narrowed his eye. Deciding he would better have Rin talk to him after he had calmed down a little (and if) he withdrew his hand and stepped away. "Get dressed. I'll make some hot chocolate for you as you explain everything to me." And with those words, he got out of the room, leaving Rin alone and at a total loss.

Okay, what had just happened?

Rin looked at the clothes right beside him. Wait. Why hadn't that man just pushed him down on the bed? Was he agonizing that badly for the past half hour over_ nothing at all_? Even though this man had been nothing but kind to him, Rin wanted to throw an anvil right at his face. God, pissing him off, always pissing him off so badly! 'Why were you late Rin?' 'Where did you get those bruises from Rin?' 'Are you getting abused Rin?' Shut up it's none of your fucking business already! Always so cynic, so aloof, so damn preachy! Like he actually cared! And if he wasn't going to fuck him, he should have just said so!

He fumed as he put the pajamas on. Yes, they were full, but they were better than nothing… But… What if the other man enjoyed seeing him in his clothes? What if that chocolate had some kind of drug in it? Rin shrugged. Whatever happens, happens. Not to mention that this train of thought now seemed almost ridiculous. Just with a couple of sentences Rin had felt safe… But he'd never let his guard down.

He walked towards the kitchen hesitantly. Neuhaus saw him approaching, much like a cat approaches the person who offers it food, trying to decide if it's a trap or not. "I haven't put anything in the chocolate you know. Come." He said, as he put the green cup with the hot liquid on the table he was standing beside. Though he meant it as a joke, he saw Rin's body stiffen immediately. His hands gripped tightly his own cup, filled with black coffee. He had just confirmed that this would be a hell of a tough case. He saw Rin sitting down and wrapping his fingers around his cup carefully.

"It's hot." Rin just said. The whole atmosphere was weird. Warm and safe, but at the same time, something eating at his heart wouldn't let him relax.

And Neuhaus could see that. "Are you afraid of me?" He asked, as he grabbed a chair and sat right across Rin, with his coffee in hand, leaning a bit towards him. Rin's head shot up and he saw that his doctor was staring right into his eyes, searching for the answer. Strangely he seemed more serious than usual.

"Don't say stupid things." Rin averted his gaze and looked down. Though he seemed calm, his heart started beating faster. He didn't know what he wanted from the other man. Comfort? Soothing words? A wake up call? Maybe sex like he thought before… He knew nothing.

"Okay." Neuhaus nodded and moved back. "Then you wouldn't mind telling me how on earth you found yourself in such a predicament. Right?"

Rin nodded and told him how the punks found him and what they did with the water bottles, leaving out the sexual harassing details. He also told him that he was wondering around the city aimlessly and it was of pure luck that he found himself there, but he didn't tell him the reason why.

Upon hearing everything Rin had to say, Neuhaus sighed. "You know, you're really lucky you got away just with a mere petty bullying like this. This isn't a good neighborhood. It's a very dangerous are of the city, many gangs and muggers and any sorts of criminals can be found here. Just be thankful they only made fun of you. The next time don't come here all by yourself by any means."

"But you live here!" Rin protested. "Aren't you worried about…"

"Are you kidding me?" Neuhaus raised his eyebrow as he interrupted him. "Who is ever going to target me?" He said, as he pointed at his eye patch. "I look more dangerous than half of the lowlifes around here."

"You're still all alone, that's not an excuse." Rin looked away. Neuhaus observed him. So this kid was kind, huh? He already knew it somehow, but that simple comment just confirmed it.

"Hm, you're worried about me?" Neuhaus smirked, but then the smirk turned into a soft smile. "I see."

Rin turned and it was time that he looked at the other in the eye, seriously. "Who are you, anyway?" It was more of a statement than a question.

Neuhaus folded his arms across his chest. "Why, your high school doctor of course."

"I've met enough school doctors in my life. No one would do what you did for me today." Rin informed him. Then his eyes narrowed. "Unless you have an ulterior motive of course." It was time to lay all the cards down. Rin wasn't the type to beat around the bush either way.

"I take it that you don't trust my good intentions?" Neuhaus questioned him, but that was more of a statement than a question too. Things were starting to clear up about this boy.

"There is no such thing." Rin answered harshly. "Every action people take is for their own benefits and only. I don't believe in anything crappy like genuine help or…"

"Wow that is something quite cruel to say, considering it comes from someone who owes his very life to someone else's altruism." Neuhaus bit out and it caught Rin off guard. His eyes widened and he was left speechless for some moments. Apparently Neuhaus knew he was adopted. It wasn't a secret or anything but…

He shot up. "My clothes must have dried off by now. I need to go."

"No, they haven't. Wait." Neuhaus stood up as well. "Sit down. You still haven't told me half of what you must."

"I don't have any obligation to." Rin turned around to exit the room. Before Neuhaus could lecture him about how he actually did because he saved his sorry ass, Rin spoke again: "He was… he was only the exception that confirms the rule. He's dead now, and I…" He slowly turned to his doctor. "I don't trust anyone. I hurt someone today. That's just me, I get angry and hurt people, and I don't want to do that anymore, but I still don't believe in good intentions."

_He hurt someone… That's why he came all the way to the other side of the city like a ghost, it was because of guilt. _Neuhaus realized. Apparently Rin wasn't just kind, he was too kind for his own good. He was just a confused and lonely kid, without anyone to guide him. Neuhaus sighed. "Just because a couple of bastards showed up in your path, it doesn't mean you should lose all your faith to humanity. There _are _good people out there. People who deserve your trust and your love. Even if it seems impossible to you right now because you're frustrated from recent events…"

"I can prove it to you." Rin interrupted him.

Neuhaus them saw him walking towards him, looking straight into his eyes. "Excuse-" And then there was nothing he could say, because Rin had just wrapped his arms around his neck, stood at the tip of his toes and he was_ freaking kissing him right on the lips! _

Okay, okay, okay… What? What? Just… Neuhaus' mind drew a blank. End of the story. He couldn't move, he couldn't comprehend what was happening. He could feel the light, soft press on his lips. It was a simple, shallow kiss, but Neuhaus couldn't understand what Rin wanted to tell him with it. Heck, for some moments he had forgotten where he was, who he was with and even his own name! …No probably he remembered who he was with very well. Still, he remained so shocked that he didn't make any attempt to push Rin off.

When Rin finally pulled away, he saw how utterly stunned the other guy was. That confirmed his suspicions that Neuhaus didn't take him from the street to have his way with him. Still… "…Want to do it?" He whispered. Neuhaus slightly opened his mouth, but nothing came out. "Want to do… me?" Rin clarified.

All Neuhaus could see was the tears that threatened to fall from Rin's eyes. How his cheeks were flushed and his whole body was trembling, just like when he had placed his hand on his shoulder in the bedroom. The kid was purely terrified, why was he doing this? He grabbed him from the arms and Rin immediately closed his eyes and braced himself for something… new, something… "Rin, are you getting abused?"

"What…" _Where did that c__ο__me from? _Rin was momentarily confused and he opened his eyes, surprised. His doctor's expression was fierce and worried.

"Have you done this with anyone else? Has anyone forced you to it?" _Please God let the answer be no, let him answer me truthfully no… _

"What – no, no I don't!" Rin protested. "I haven't done this before, it's just… it's just that I… I don't know what to do anymore…" _ What am I saying, mouth stop talking now, stop talking! _Rin thought desperately, but it was already too late. _I want someone, but I don't know… I'll do anything, even if it's just for a couple of hours or some mere minutes… Even if I know that it's not right, I… _

Neuhaus remembered what Rin was trying to prove to him. He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around the fragile boy and embrace him warmly and tightly, like trying to create a barrier to shield him from everything bad in the world. "I'm not going to take advantage of you. I swear." He felt Rin trembling in his arms, as his quivering hands struggled to return the embrace. "I will protect you. You don't have to do those things to make me accept you. I already have. No matter what anybody else says, you should know that you're a good person and that you deserve the best. Never forget that. Don't let anyone make you believe otherwise." He held Rin's head with his hand, placing it on his chest, running his fingers through the boy's black hair. "You deserve the best. You deserve the best." He kept telling him, trying to assure him.

And finally, Rin burst into tears. All of the pent-up frustration, all the agony, all the helplessness, the loneliness, the disappointment, which were so far kept secretly inside due to his stubbornness, erupted all at once. He screamed and cried and clutched desperately at the man who was holding him for dear life, wishing that he'd never had to let go. His knees gave in so both of them kneeled and sat on the floor, Neuhaus still holding Rin and caressing his back, trying to soothe him as Rin was shedding as many tears as he'd never shed in his whole life before. _Oh Rin what were you trying to do here? Punish yourself? Rin… _He kept holding him, letting him release all of his pain in his arms.

When Rin finally calmed down, he still didn't want to leave from Neuhaus' embrace. Finally. Finally he had found someone. His pride was now in pieces but that was okay. In a strange way, he didn't feel disgraced, he didn't feel humiliated like he thought he would. In his turn, Neuhaus didn't let him go. He wouldn't mind sitting like this for as long as Rin needed to. They sat there and forgot to count the time. And Rin would probably sit there for all night, if he didn't remember that Yukio might have called. It was a secret pact of them, if one of them didn't even let the other at least a text message to make sure they were okay, then it was a sign that the other should start to worry. Rin was pretty sure Yukio would call him as soon as the lecture was over, and he didn't have his cell-phone with him. "I… I need to go home now…" He spoke softly, his face still hidden in the other man's chest. "My brother… will worry…"

"Okay." Neuhaus replied in the same tone. "Come on, go get dressed." He said as they raised themselves and stood up from the floor. "I'll drive you home." And Rin did as told.

The ride home was silent. Rin noticed that the sky had started to darken. The stuff he did today… He felt better than he had to feel months now, there was no way to deny that. He stole some glances at Neuhaus but that was it. No way was he just his school doctor anymore. So what was he now? Rin decided not to dwell on it. It didn't matter.

After approximately ten minutes, they reached Rin's apartment building. "Here, right?" Neuhaus asked him casually.

"Yeah. Thank you." Rin unfastened his seatbelt. "For everything today." He hesitated a bit, but then he opened the door and walked out of the car. This was kind of awkward right now but… "I-I'll see you in school…?"

Neuhaus smiled. "See you in school. Tomorrow."

And finally, Rin smiled back.

God, he had ages to do that.

_Beautiful. _Neuhaus thought before seeing Rin waving to him as he got into the building. It seemed like finally, his life had once again a meaning.

**A/N: Gosh I can't believe it took me so long to write this… Read and review people please! (although if you've reached this far it's kind of pointless to tell you to read so… review? :P ) **


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